Stronger, Not Smaller
Grow your strength, not your self-doubt.
Love your body and treat yourself with kindness… I wish that I could say this is an easy one for me, that after teaching yoga for 15 years and becoming a certified personal trainer that I would be at peace with my body, weight and all things to do with my self-image.
But I still have bad days. I have bloated, didn’t sleep all night, sweaty, crazy hate my body days.
And when I start to spiral, pick apart photos of myself, change jeans three times in frustration…I come back to this little mantra: stronger, not smaller.
Not smaller in my energy, my voice, and not in my body.
My body has gone through so many stages, so many weights, so many shapes. I had an eating disorder throughout my teen years and got down to a scary low weight, I rebelled against that in college and gained a lot of weight mostly from keg beer and late-night pizza. I have been slim and trim and still felt awful. I’ve been HUGE, carrying twins all the way to 40 weeks, and felt amazing!
There is so much more to how we feel in our skin than a number on a scale. And there is so much more to strength than the number on the weight you pick up.
You’ve been through SO MUCH with your amazing body. Ups, downs, sickness, health…your relationship with your body is literally the ONLY ONE you’re guaranteed to have for your entire life. So, doesn’t it sound good to give that relationship a little love and attention?
At 47 I show my body love and attention by focusing on showing up to move for my muscles and mind, and not making the number on the scale go down. I no longer count calories, I count how many times I hit the mat this week. I celebrate choosing movement over self-judgment. I refocus negative thoughts about wanting to be ‘skinny’ to, ‘Wow, look what I can do now that I am stronger!’
Why This Mindset Shift Matters So Much
Somewhere along the way, so many of us were taught that our worth was tied to how little space we take up.
That “good” meant smaller, lighter, thinner, quieter.
And honestly? I’m done with that.
I don’t want to disappear.
I don’t want to walk into a room trying to make myself tiny.
I don’t want to raise my twins (especially my daughter!) to think that shrinking is the goal.
I want to take up space.
I want to be grounded, bold, steady, loud when I want to be, soft when I choose to be, and comfortable in the skin I’m living in.
Teaching women in yoga and fitness for as long as I have, I’ve learned this:
Strength has nothing to do with size and everything to do with how you feel in your body.
Strength is showing up when you’d rather hide.
Strength is starting again on a Wednesday because Monday didn’t go as planned.
Strength is saying, “My body deserves care today,” even when you feel overwhelmed.
Strength is choosing movement because it supports your mind, not because it punishes your body.
Stronger With Age, On Purpose
When I look at women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, women who show up with consistency and intention, I see something magic that younger me didn’t always understand:
Strength is our insurance policy for the future.
It’s our independence.
Our balance.
Our confidence.
Our ability to keep living the life we love.
You don’t build this at 88.
You build it now, in little moments, little workouts, little habits that add up to a healthier, longer, more vibrant life.
This isn’t about the scale.
This is about being able to travel, laugh, play, lift grandkids, go for hikes, dance in your kitchen, carry groceries with one trip (queen behavior), and feel GOOD doing it.
Taking Up Space. In Every Way.
“Stronger, Not Smaller” isn’t just about physical strength.
It’s emotional strength.
Mental strength.
Boundary-setting strength.
Self-compassion strength.
It’s reminding yourself that you matter: your voice, your needs, your joy.
It’s letting yourself expand into your life rather than shrinking to fit someone else’s expectations.
And if we’re being really honest?
It’s about learning to look at your own body with softness instead of scrutiny.
It’s about learning to thank your legs for carrying you, your arms for lifting, your core for stabilizing, your heart for beating… instead of tearing them apart.
What Strength Looks Like For Me
Strength for me doesn’t always look like heavy weights or perfect form.
Sometimes it looks like a 30-minute mat workout where I’m just moving so I don’t lose my mind.
Sometimes it looks like going for a walk with Wrigley and enjoying the fall leaves.
Sometimes it’s lying on my mat and having a good cry when the news feels heavy, the laundry is everywhere, and the day is already too much.
Love Yourself
I wish I could say it is so easy! I wish I could say that I never had a negative thought about my body anymore, that I’ve outgrown it, that being a yoga instructor and personal trainer and mom has made my self-image all sunshine and roses.
But sometimes my thoughts are still cruel.
The difference is, when I had those negative thoughts in my early 20s I believed them. Now, at 47, I hear those thoughts with compassion, and remind myself that shrinking isn’t my goal. Today, I am choosing to be stronger, not smaller.
And that feels pretty fucking good.
My Invitation to You
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to shrink yourself, your body, your voice, your presence, I want to gently invite you into something different:
Choose stronger.
Choose fuller.
Choose YOU.
If you want support, community, and workouts that are about mental and physical strength, not diet culture or shrinking, come join us at It Matters to move 4 times a week and spend a little time on that one and only life-time relationship: you and your body.
See you on the mat, xo Viv
